You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize