I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I lost the right to judge tonight
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
