have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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