Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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