I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
