smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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