Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
