I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
