i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
