The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
