eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize