i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
