Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
What drink are we having for lunch?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
