remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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