it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
