Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
