It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
