totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
