GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
