I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
