just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
