If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
