is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you never un-have a 4some
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
