so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
