I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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