I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
