Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
