Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
