Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
