He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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