I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize