I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
