I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
