I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Drunk is a universal language darling
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
