I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
