what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
