babies were throwing up all over the place
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
