so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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