She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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