why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
