We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
