cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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