no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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