just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
