She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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