just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I need help removing her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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