Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
