I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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