He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
