So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
