Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
