All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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