I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
