Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
