i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
