you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize