So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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