I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize