I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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