Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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