You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
