when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
