I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize