I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
