who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
