i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Girls should come with a carfax report
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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