Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize