It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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