i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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